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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23673721">Inner Consciousness</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosalieBlack/pseuds/RosalieBlack'>RosalieBlack</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Anne of Green Gables (TV 1985) &amp; Related Fandoms, Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff, Gilbert Blythe is Whipped, Idiots in Love, One Shot, Romance, Shirbert, anne has a breakdown, anne loves gilbert's chin, canon? i don't know her, it's fluff, marilla is so done with her child, minnie may saves the day, rain is essential for romance, we love minnie may in this house</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:20:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,345</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23673721</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosalieBlack/pseuds/RosalieBlack</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Minnie May watches silently as her father talks with tall and dark, splendid chin’s – according to Anne – owner. She furrows her eyebrows, while plenty of questions are spinning inside her little head. Boys are disgusting, she thinks. Why is Anne even thinking that this boy here is splendid? Is that really his chin? Will she, in the future, love someone’s chin as much as red haired girl loves Gilbert’s chin? And what, on Earth, is inner consciousness?"</p><p>Or Minnie May spills spicy secrets of girls' talk to one Gilbert Blythe and he solves mystery of love. </p><p>Note: this is my first fic in English, so you're entering this dark territories of me (probably) messing grammar (and many other things) at your own risk.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gilbert Blythe &amp; Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>206</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Inner Consciousness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>As I said (or rather wrote) in the summary, this is my first fic in English. Any suggestions are appreciated as long as they're not mean. </p><p>Some informations before you read: in that one-shot Winnie doesn't exist, there was no fair yet. Action is happening sometime after dance practice. </p><p>Stay safe, drink water and enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Minnie May watches silently as her father talks with tall and dark, splendid chin’s – according to Anne – owner. She furrows her eyebrows while plenty of questions are spinning inside her little head. <em>Boys are disgusting</em>, she thinks. Why does Anne even think that this boy here is splendid? Is that really his chin? Will she, in the future, love someone’s chin as much as red-haired girl loves Gilbert’s chin? And what, on Earth, is inner consciousness?</p><p>She feels a little dizzy, perhaps from sitting for too long in tiny furniture placed in her parents’ parlor. She longs for father to end his small talk with Gilbert Blythe, so she can approach him and ask questions that only he knows answers to. Minnie May prepares her list very carefully, basing on what she heard earlier, when Anne cried all of her tears on Diana’s arm, mumbling something about veils, inner consciousness, someone called Mr Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet.</p><p>She may be still a child, but she’s a child with great memory. She remembers every detail of the conversation that was held in corner of Diana’s room, well, details  she was able to hear before her hiding spot in her sister’s wardrobe was found.</p><p>She breathes in relief when her father shakes hands with Gilbert Blythe and leaves him for a moment. Just a few minutes, before father will be back, she knows she has to squeeze them like lemons in order to get answers she wants.</p><p>Minnie May observes Gilbert from her hiding point, silently coming out of the dresser. She squints her eyes as if she’s blinded by the morning sun. The girl wipes her nose with hem of rose-pink dress and finally, very carefully, approaches young man, just like wolf comes near it’s prey. When she’s barely inches from his legs, she tugs sleeve of his white shirt.</p><p>Gilbert Blythe is certainly just as confused as surprised. He needs couple of seconds to look around and notice little girl dictatorially clutching piece of his clothing in her tiny hand. He smiles absent-mindedly, he doesn’t know Diana’s sister well, but sees that she’s much different from her older and always collected sibling.</p><p>“What is inner consciousness?” she asks straightforwardly, not bothering with small talk that her family loves so much. “And why does it have a veil?”</p><p>“Pardon me?” Gilbert mutters completely struck with questions coming out of the blue. Minnie May isn’t so sure of boy’s knowledge anymore. But if the talk between her sister and Anne was about him, he has to know answer to at least one of questions from her list. So she tries her luck once again.</p><p>“What makes a chin splendid?” Little girl insists on having her response. “Who’s Mr Darcy, oh, and Elizabeth Bennet?”</p><p>“I’m sorry- I-“ he looks for words. “I don’t follow. How have those things anything in common?”</p><p>Minnie May is so close to give up. Will she ever get her explanation? He has to know something. If not, then why Anne keeps babbling about him? She sticks her tongue out thinking deeply. Her memory goes through all moments when red-haired girl said something about Gilbert. Didn't she claim that he’s the smartest boy in school? Recently – if her excellent memory isn’t failing the little Barry – all of Anne’s words were about Gilbert Blythe.</p><p>“You’re supposed to know!” she points her finger accusingly at him. “You’re the one who’s Mr Darcy! That’s what Anne said.”</p><p>With final sentence she lowers her voice, afraid that father may hear her presence in the parlor. In that exact moment Gilbert seems to be more interested in conversation with her than ever before. The boy kneels down keeping his head on her level.</p><p>“Anne said I’m Mr Darcy?” She nods at his question and his face goes as pale as possible. “What else Anne told you?”</p><p>“She doesn’t tell me anything” Minnie May explains simply. “She tells Diana everything. She claims you have splendid chin.”</p><p>As observant child she sees that out of nowhere Gilbert’s eyes are almost gleaming and he smiles like Cheshire cat. But before she gets her answers both Diana and their father storm to the parlor. The littlest Barry knows she’s in trouble, so she just waits for cacophony of yells to come.</p><p>“Minnie May!” Diana is certainly enraged with her sister’s behavior and Minnie May rolls her eyes to get her sister on the edge of patience. “Out of the room, right now!”</p><p>Young Miss Barry is shooing sister from the parlor, shooting apologizing glances to her father and Gilbert. <em>Maybe she and Minnie May have more in common</em>, Blythe thinks, noticing glimpse of something dangerous in Diana’s usually calm eyes. Minutes after he hears louder than necessary girly voices and following Minnie May’s cry.</p><p>With a heavy sigh and sincere friendliness Mr Barry shows Gilbert to the main door. They exchange formalities and young man leaves Barry’s house, strolling through huge garden with high pine trees protecting front of the building from blinding sunrays.</p><p>He can’t help but thinks about his short conversation with Minnie May. The girl seemed to spill completely random facts from heard talks. Did she do that to provoke Diana’s anger? Raven-haired Barry looked almost as if she was near to have heart attack, when she noticed her little sister in the parlor. But if he is Mr Darcy, does this mean that somehow Anne considers herself Elizabeth Bennet? At a thought he feels his heart starting rapidly thump inside his chest in almost painful manner. Did Anne really say he has splendid chin? His face suddenly is all warm and that warmth soon floods his whole body and Gilbert knows it’s not because of the sun.</p><p>Could this mean that… that perhaps Anne Shirley-Cuthbert has feelings for him?</p><p>Before his brain starts work again and takes reasonable side of Gilbert’s mind, he turns on his heel and runs back to the Barry’s house. Far away on the road he’s able to see black carriage, Mr and Mrs Barry must have left few minutes ago. He tries his luck anyway and knocks loudly on the door. He’s not sure if he’s relieved or frightened when he sees Diana at the entrance.</p><p>“Gilbert,” he can swear that she’s holding herself from hissing his name “how can I help you?”</p><p>Raven-haired classmate of his keeps herself absolutely composed even though her eyes tell him that she’s about to kill him and bury his body somewhere deep down in her beautiful garden. Perhaps under that magnificent magnolia tree. In bat of an eye he decides to go bold.</p><p>“Is it true that Anne called herself Elizabeth Bennet and me Mr Darcy?” he blurts out without rethinking his words in advance. He doesn’t really care if she thinks he’s lunatic. He has to know.</p><p>And just one look at Diana’s face tells him everything. Suddenly all blood goes away from her face and she stares at him as if she’s seeing ghosts. So it’s true. And – according to Jane’s Austen work – Anne may have some feelings for him. Instantly atmosphere is heavy and everything blurs when Gilbert thinks he’s about to faint. <em>Anne! Has feelings! For him!</em> Hard grip of Diana’s long digits on his forearms is like much needed cold shower. It keeps him grounded while his mind is spinning through sceneries that include engagement, marriage and raising children, all at once.</p><p>“How do you know that?” she scoffs visibly annoyed. He doesn’t even notice that he’s sitting in the Barry’s parlor again. “You weren’t supposed to know.”</p><p>He doesn’t want to give Minnie May away as he realizes that he has a great debt to her. But he can’t focus, he hasn’t any excuses. The truth is that he possesses information about top-secret conversation that was held recently and this knowledge was given to him by someone who’s not supposed to have that kind of details either.</p><p>“Does Anne truly have feelings for me?” he changes the topic, hoping that Diana will leave her interrogation. Also, he longs for confirmation, so he can move on with his plan that involves courting first, not dragging Anne straight down the aisle.</p><p>He smiles to himself at the vision of red-haired beauty all in white. Obviously as passionate individual as she is, she’s not going to let herself be dragged anywhere against her will, even with heard of horses included. But he doesn’t really mind, that’s another thing he loves about her.</p><p>“I answered you” Diana Barry seems to be on the edge of her patience. And indeed she is. Watching those two silly tiptoeing around each other gets on her nerves really badly. She sometimes wishes love potion to be invented, so she can use it and get them together already. Diana may not have vivid imagination, but she imagines that swimming from Prince Edward Island to Ireland in cold January night is much simpler than bringing together Anne Shirley-Cuthbert and Gilbert Blythe.</p><p>“I’m sorry I got lost in thought” he replies simply. Gilbert doesn’t want to test Diana’s kindness and for sure he doesn’t want his body to be found in Lake of Shining Waters on some warm, sunny day.</p><p>“I told you it’s not me that should respond to your question” she shrugs her arms in manner one can assume careless. But when she looks at him he sees a hint of threat inside her sweet and innocent doe eyes. “And it’s true about Jane's Austen characters.”</p><p>She stands up indicating that he should leave and take proper steps, having at least one answer to his questions. Little does he know that on a Green Gables farm someone has similar conflict, dealing with matters of a heart.</p><p>“Oh dear, what has gotten into you child?!” Marilla almost has to shout to be heard among animal noises that her adoptive daughter is making since morning. “Calm yourself, I say!”</p><p>“Maybe she’s in pain” Matthew hints standing at the door of Anne’s room completely helpless. He’s just as scared as his sister, even though she doesn’t show it. “Maybe I should fetch the doctor.”</p><p>“I think exorcist will do better” she says without glimpse of humor in her voice. The elderly woman sits on the edge of girl’s bed, gently rubbing her back as red-haired adolescent is crying her eyes out, muffling sounds in her pillow.</p><p>The truth is that Anne had a dream. A dream that was lovely at first, because it started with her trying to make Gilbert post on Take Notice board for Ruby. Then they were playing with Delphine in his parlor and in following scene she was trying to cheer him up after Mary’s funeral. In next moment everything went wrong, when Gilbert showed up with beautiful debutante at the fair, causing Anne’s heart to break, even if it was just a dream.</p><p>So she lies in her bed motionless, drowning in her depths of despair, only semi-knowing that it was just a nightmare. The girl from her dream has golden locks, dreamy eyes, is smart and funny, easy to be with… She’s everything Anne wishes to be.</p><p>Just few days ago she cried herself in Diana’s arm after dance practice, when she intended to speak with Gilbert openly but eventually chickened out and ruined everything with her babbling about horses, cows and harvest. Perhaps she’s starting to showing some unnecessary habits that she picked up from Matthew for the past three years. Will she be hiding in the barn soon? If so, she has to build one for herself, she can’t share one with her dear father.</p><p>She doesn’t stop crying, debutante’s face still fresh in her memory. It’s the first time when she curses her gift of vivid dreams. That blasted imagination of her will sent her to the grave, that’s for sure. She feels sick, dizzy, everything at once. Technically she has absolutely no reason to feel that way, which frustrates her even more. Gilbert is free, he can do whatever he wants and all she wants him to do is to confess his undying love for her. <em>Not realistic at all</em>, Anne thinks, <em>and not everything is about you. </em></p><p>But for once in her life she wishes something was about her. When Ruby “mercifully” freed Gilbert from her dibs, Anne felt so lighthearted as though it was her who was released. For long months she took the stinging feeling inside her chest for casual pining for some romance. Except it wasn’t some romance. She longs for romantic relationship with one Gilbert Blythe.</p><p>“Before we decide to send for the doctor, it’s the best idea that Gilbert will see you” Marilla says sternly and suddenly Anne freezes in place. “We need his opinion.”</p><p>“No!” her cries are getting even louder at mention of curly-haired boy. She finally sits up, face red as tomato from crying, tangled copper locks and she’s barely breathing, not to mention complete lack of ability to say one reasonable sentence. “Not Gilbert, please!”</p><p>“Anne, you have to tell us what happened to you” Marilla uses her words carefully, feeling that there’s more of the story behind simple “not gilbert, please”.</p><p>With that red-haired girl throws herself on Ms Cuthbert lap and starts weeping hysterically once again. Matthew stands still at the door frame, gazing at his sister and their young girl whose breakdown is probably audible in Carmody.</p><p>“Oh, Marilla, I spoiled everything!” she sobs against woman’s belly. And something unusual happens, because Marilla suddenly cups Anne’s cheek and strokes it lightly, rubbing tears away with her fingers rough from work. “I meant to speak with him openly and ask about his feelings after dance practice, but I ran away after mumbling few words about harvest!”</p><p>“I- Jerry- barn-“ Matthew mutters under his breath and quickly leaves two Cuthbert women alone. His sister just rolls eyes at typical behavior of man.</p><p>“How is he supposed to know that I love him?” Anne laments once again, not noticing disappearance of her father. To be honest, Marilla is not sure, whether girl was aware of his presence in the first place.</p><p>“And do you love this Gilbert Blythe?” The elderly woman sighs, remembering correctly longing she felt for John before obligations extinguished every single romantic flame that was left inside her. Now she’s rather grateful that it happened this way and now she has Anne-shaped hole inside her heart, just nearby old, John-shaped, one.</p><p>“If this is me feeling like I’m not able to contain more feelings for him anymore and I’m on the edge of exploding all the time, but somehow every single minute this feeling doubles itself mystically… then I guess, I’m in love.” Anne stops crying and sits up, facing Marilla. “I have never been sure of anything, ever, in my life as I am certain I’m in love with Gilbert Blythe. I love him.”</p><p>She whispers as though she’s afraid to be heard, but Marilla sees in her eyes that girl’s heart is settled. She embraces her daughter, happy for her, knowing that there will be no obligations that could part the pair once they’ll get together. She silently vows to herself to make sure that Anne will have her perfect romance undisturbed by hateful gossip or mean people of the town.</p><p>“I love Gilbert!” Instantly red-haired girl shouts and gets up, causing Marilla to stir. “I have to tell him!”</p><p>“Anne Shirley-Cuthbert, you will not leave this house in your nightgown!” Ms Cuthbert grips young woman by her elbow before she manages to run to the door. The girl is giggling, in much better state of mind, than she was fifteen minutes ago.</p><p>Marilla doesn’t bother with forcing Anne to eat as the girl hurries too much to remember about such primal thing as eating her breakfast. Elderly woman just makes sure that Anne looks presentable with her hair tied in single braid, creamy shirt and brown ankle long skirt.</p><p>“Where do you think you’re going?” Marilla asks when she notices the direction her daughter is heading.</p><p>“To Diana, of course!” Anne replies simply. “I have to tell her everything and we will come up with a plan.”</p><p>Obviously, only Anne Shirley-Cuthbert needs a plan, actually another obstacle, in creating her perfect, not-so-tragical, romance.</p><p>Before she approaches Barry’s land it’s getting darker and wind is blowing straight in her eyes. She looks up, noticing heavy clouds, hoping that it’s not a sign of bad luck. She speeds up her pace and intends to get to Diana’s house before it’ll start raining. The red-haired girl furrows her brow, marking someone on the end of her path. Someone who’s going in opposite direction. The distance between them decreases and she instantly recognizes head full of dark brown, curly hair and soft hazel eyes. <em>Oh, and that splendid chin</em>.</p><p>“Anne” Gilbert pants, completely surprised by her presence on the path. His eyes wander around her slightly flushed face and he seems to be speechless, which causes her to blush even more.</p><p>“Gilbert” she nods gently, keeping herself from throwing herself at him and shower him with her love. In few steps he’s standing feet to feet with her, merely inches between their faces. Anne’s feeling like Earth starts spinning with unnatural speed. “I am heading to Diana to discuss matter of utmost importance.”</p><p>Only her words are keeping her sane at the moment, when Gilbert is so close that she can clearly see all shades of brown and green and even gold in his eyes. <em>Gold</em>! <em>In his eyes</em>! She sees tiny freckles on his nose that look more like sprinkled cinnamon. And finally she smells his scent – apple and honey with a bit of soap and a dash of fresh laundry.</p><p>“Anne, do you have feelings for me?” he has no filter, so he just blurts out his question without blink of an eye. There’s so much romance in his eyes that Anne has to use all remains of her willpower to keep herself collected and not to burst into tears (happy tears this time) for fourth or fifth time in a row.</p><p>“Since you’re final receiver of whatever conversation I would have with Diana, we can go straight to the point.” She steadies herself and breathes deeply, bracing for what’s to come. A few rain droplets fall on their almost touching noses. “Gilbert Blythe, I’m afraid, that I’m scandalously in love with you.”</p><p>He cups her cheeks with his hands and leans in, but she puts finger on his lips, whispering “<em>wait for it</em>”, while she’s standing still with her skin burning where his mouth touches it. And there’s the rain. Heavy drops are falling from the darkened sky, releasing calming smell of grass and soil and trees. Anne feels as her hair, skirt, her blouse are soaking, but all she does is circling her arms behind Gilbert’s neck, while she’s standing on her toes to reach his lips.</p><p>“In case I wasn’t clear enough” Gilbert first breaks their fierce kiss as he’s fidgeting with fold of Anne’s skirt. “I love you most incandescently, Anne Shirley-Cuthbert.”</p><p>In her room, Diana Barry reads book, lying on her bed, quite content with how she held conversation with Gilbert Blythe. It went without spilling any important secrets, she didn’t mentioned the times Anne cried her eyes out this week and she didn’t kill him, which is her greatest accomplishment today. Minnie May creeps into her sister’s room and climbs on the chair by the window.</p><p>“Can, at least, <em>you</em> tell me what is inner consciousness?” she asks, being on the edge of tears. She’s positively furious with Diana constantly ignoring her.</p><p>“It’s something inside you, that tells you what is the right thing to do” Diana replies, not bothering with breaking her gaze from interesting book. Minnie May finally looks satisfied with answer she gets, so she sits on the windowsill, longing to play outside.</p><p>“Does this something tell Gilbert Blythe to eat Anne’s face?” Little girl tilts her head, while Diana gets up in a second and sprints to the window.</p>
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